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As
I listen to my patients, I am struck by their stories. Not just
the story of how they got injured, or how this mysterious pain
has been growing over the past months or years, but the underlying
revelations: The little words or phrases that reveal how they
really feel about their condition. Words are powerful. One new
year's resolution that can make some subtle, if not profound changes
in your life, is to choose your words more carefully.
- "My
back is full of arthritis."
- "I
have bulging discs."
- "I
played too hard when I was younger and now I guess I'm paying
for it."
- "My
Dad had back pain and so do my siblings, so it's just how we're
built."
- "I've
had past surgeries, so I'll never fully be the same."
While
these statements may hold some truth, the message behind them
doesn't have to be true. Many people believe that the conditions
they are describing automatically EQUALS pain and that nothing
can really be done about them.
In
truth, there are millions of people functioning on the planet
today, pain-free, who have arthritis, bulging discs, scoliosis,
had very active younger and current lifestyles, and parents who
ended up in pain. The difference may be that these functioning
folks have not been convinced that there is any reason they should
have pain. They are not telling themselves over and over, in their
mini-mental stories, that they are somehow going to "pay
for this."
Each
time you hear yourself in your head or out-loud, comment about
your condition in a way that implies, "and therefore I'm
stuck with this pain," you have triggered a stress response.
Your brain goes to work tightening muscles to protect you, releasing
stress hormones, making your breath shallow, inhibiting your small
stabilizer muscles so your large fight or flight muscles can be
ready for action, and generally interfering with your optimal
health and healing. If you are struggling with on-going pain,
the pain may be a reminder of what you cannot do, and will actually
prompt you to tell your mini-mental story multiple times a day
(and maybe multiple times per hour), thus contributing to more
stress responses.
So,
what's a person in pain to do?
Change
the story. The first challenge is to let yourself genuinely
hear the language and emotional tone you use to talk about your
condition(s). This can be difficult because what you say and how
you say it is so "normal" to you, and can seem so harmless.
Habits tend to be that way, unless they are the big cultural "bad"
habits that everyone knows you "shouldn't do". (ie;
smoking, eating sweets, drinking, etc). If you have a good friend
or family member who can lovingly point out to you how you use
your words to negatively express your health condition, this can
be very helpful. It can also make you feel vulnerable, so be specific
about whom you choose to help guide and support you in this self-awareness
journey.
Once
you've begun to identify how the words and phrases you are choosing
may be contributing to the pain response it is time to begin to
shift how you express these concerns. Often there is a lot of
fear and concern about one's condition. If this fear gets disregarded,
the next steps may be futile. So before moving forward with "positive
thinking", it is important to find a way to calm and soothe
any fears and concerns. A qualified coach or counselor may be
useful for this since not everyone is well trained to help guide
you to a place of support for your feelings. This isn't a time
for finding what's wrong and then scolding or shaming yourself
for being so "stupid", indeed, that will end up being
more mini-mental stories that create the stress response.
As
you learn to create a safe environment to support yourself and
your deeper fears, concerns, worries, etc, you can also begin
finding new truths that support your healing. Here are just a
few suggestions:
| 1 |
Find
things you truly like and appreciate about your body and your
health and make a practice of appreciating these on a daily
basis. |
| 2 |
As
you go to bed, before you fall asleep, you can recall your
day and all of the moments your body and health were "there"
for you. |
| 3 |
During
exercise (or movement through your house, or shopping), feel
the support of your feet, the healthy expansion of your lungs
and ribs, the swinging of your arms, the dexterity of your
hands and fingers. |
| 4 |
Give
your body gratitude. When you awake in the morning, take a
few moments to look in the mirror and thank the different
parts of your body for all of the functions that they do so
well. From your muscles and joints, to your skin, to your
organs - your heart, lungs, kidneys, bladder, etc. |
| 5 |
Change
the stories: |
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"I
know I have arthritis, but as I do my exercises, work on my
posture, and strengthening my muscles, I'm glad to know the
arthritis doesn't have to hurt (as much) and interfere with
my life." |
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"I'm so glad about what I'm learning. It's exciting to
know that I will be the one to change the family pattern of
low back pain and poor posture." |
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"This
pain sure seems like a pain, but I know it's helping me learn
things about myself that I would have just ignored and missed
out on." |
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"Lot's
of people have my condition and do not have pain". |
| 6 |
Are
you reinforcing a victim story? Really listen to your feelings
and words. Do you feel your pain is in control of you? It's
time to take back control, and the first step may be some
positive self-reinforcement, encouragement, and hope. |
There
are many other types of mini-mental stories that contribute to
our stress responses. It could be how you talk about money and
finances, the economy, being overwhelmed with too much to do,
family relationships, or any number of things. These stories can
contribute to your physical pain, and or your mental/emotional
pain. Why not take the first steps to change by choosing your
words and thoughts more consciously? Let more peace and joy filter
into your life.
May
you enjoy a happy and healthy New Year with new truths to guide
you.
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